Report of the workshop at KDM, November 27th, 2013:
9 carton boxes
a hula hoop
the banner of emotions
Trainers: I., N., N.
Kids: R., F., A., S., A., F., A., E., R. I., A., S., S., T., R., N., E., I., S.
Games to warm up and know each others:
1 -ball name, how do you feel and game on treating the ball according to your
introduction names and feelings.
New group a bit shy. The big girls seem to be more self concious than the boys. The boys are more expressive. Only E. is quite expressive.
They like it. Still little confused. Bigger new kids seem to catch up quite fast.
Playing Vivaldi Thunderstorm.
- Introduction of Feeling stormy:
impatient: tidak sabar
frustrated: frustasi / kecewa
aggravated: disakiti / dijengkelkan
unloved: tidak dicintai
discouraged: patah hati / patah semangat
put down: diremehkan / dihina / dicela
How did you feel?
They answered: sad, fight, the father fighting with other people, war, a scene with a car accident with lot of panic, A child playing music for Kdm anniversary, a mum sending her child away, Somebody lost in the forest.
They also added: someone to the beach, in middle of sea boat is sinking eaten by shark; being a ninja, going with a went with friend boat. Huge wave, only one survives.
We then pretended to be in the boat and defend ourselves against the pirate with the music live played as a background.
They don't really do anything, chaotic.
We then performed a drama:
Two kids meet, N punches U while passing
U retaliates, they end up fighting
Kids tell what they see, what U must feel.
Take turns to separate and resolve the conflict
In the end, N has to explain why she pinched U
The reason because she felt neglected by U the other they, they both apologise
Kids are very responsive
A. cooperates very well.
A. doesn't want to do anything, wants to be carried by Sara
Groups, drama similar situation
They're very enthusiastic in practicing
1. S., F., I., R., A.,
F. and A. make nasty comments about the other kids' clothes, pushing each other and end in fighting.
Fight ends because S. interferes with suggestions of I.. He asks why they fights and if they can make it up. He feels a bit uncomfortable..In the end, F. hugs, says he's sorry.
2. S., S., N., F., R.
N. tries to take S. boyfriend (R.). S. is jealous and angry. S. asks what's happened, S. explains, N. feels sorry.
3. School,R. 2 is teacher.
students: E., A., A., E., T.
Students say good morning to teacher. Then they start teasing each other. A. takes notebook E., fight. roll over the floor. whole class interferes and tell E. and A. to be friends again.
Repetition of Roleplay U. and N..
N. passes U. and pinches her.
u. is upset, tries to pinch back, they end up fighting and screaming. until Sara call stop.
Ask the kids what they see. Some of the kids blame U. for the fight.
We repeated several times.
Kids start to understand N. started the fight by pinching U..
Sara asks when a fight will end if people keep seeking revenge on each other
the kids understand it will never end.
Then we ask, what a good way would be to stop a fight. U. should ask why N. pinches her.
Nancy tells she feels neglected by Uut, because the other day she didn't want to play with her.
U. apologies and says that was not her intention. N. apologises too.
Discuss about it and try to get the following from them:
What do we learn?
- The experience of anger brings along the desire of vengeance (dendam).
When is the desire of vengeance estinguished?
- The desire of revenge doesnt diminish, unless we realize that we are angry, and until we are able to release anger. It can last for years.
How do you feel when you are angry?
- we feel strong, powerful but also guilty and ashamed
How can we feel better, if we are angry?
Only stopping desiring revenge, or forgiving (pengampunan) can solve this situation
How can we forgive others?
- we can really forgive only if we can understand why the ones who made us feel bad behaved in that way (their emotional background).
Can you tell a episode of somebody forgiving?
6 - Rhythmical circle, kids follow well. Seem to enjoy
- snack time -
9 - the boxes: three boxes each group of 5,5,6, reach the final line.
Count how much time: they are one group (no competition, cooperation).
Kids liked the game. All 3 groups seem to cooperate well with each other.
All groups tried to win by throwing the empty box far ahead and jump into it.
7- Learning to say "no".
In couples: one says "you have to do what I say!" the other replies "No."
They have to keep on saying it, insisting as in real life.
Who says "no" must try not to get angry.
Show them an example with N..
Kids were really into it. They liked to get worked up and end up yelling the other kid 'you have to do what I say'.
5 - Game on accepting, ignoring or refusing other people.
Walk around the room, randomly, and whenever you feel like, when you meet somebody you can:
- open your arms and smile
- close your arms seriously
- look somewhere else ignoring who is in front of you
It is important to explain that this is only an excercise with nothing to do with personal likes or dislikes.
It is an excercise helping us to cope what happens daily when we meet people. Ask them how they felt.
First try: they don't understand, all hug each other.
2 nd try, better. The bigger girls seem to find it difficult to deal with rejection. They pushed and hit some of the other kids when they were rejected. They also moved around while staying close to each other.
We asked: how did you feel?
Rejected, sad, annoyed, shy, angry, ignored, upset, heartbroken, feel hot inside
8 - Learning to say "yes".
Two circles, one inside and one facing them, outside.
The two groups rotate with the music and when music stops who is facing the other will cry, opening their arms, "Yes!"
E. didn't like it. She looked not happy.
The other kids participated well.
- how can we deal with anger?
* step away from your anger and distract yourself for a while so that you do not make decisions that are simply based on emotion. Taking deep breaths can be very relieving.
* Use "I" statement to describe what you are feeling rather than blame or point out the faults of someone or something else (so, if someone pushes you in the lunch line, instead of saying "you are a jerk" you might instead say "I dont like being pushed".
* Figure out a safe way to express your anger in a way that doenst hurt anyone or anything.
* Always try to speak in a voice that is not too loud or sarcastic. An angry tone of voice makes it impossible for the other person to hear what you are saying because they will only hear the anger, not your words.
* talk to someone about your angry feelings - even to a pet or a doll.
* stand-up for yourself. Knowing that anger is a self-protective response, next time someone teases you, realize that you are angry because you were put down and hurt, take a deep breath, and try to stay calm. Even if you simply say that you dont appreciate being teased, then, at least, the focus would be on the person who made the comment, rather then on your angry response.
"Kalau sampai waktuku
Kumau tak seorang 'kan merayu
Tidak juga kau
Tak perlu sedu sedan itu!
Aku ini binatang jalang
Dari kumpulannya terbuang
Biar peluru menembus kulitku
Aku tetap meradang menerjang
Luka dan bisa kubawa berlari
Hingga hilang pedih peri
Dan aku akan lebih tidak peduli
Aku mau hidup seribu tahun lagi!"
Translations of Aku:
When my time has come
I want none to compliment me
Not even you
I don't need that sniveling!
I'm but a wild animal
From an exiled group
Even if bullets pierce my skin
I will still enrage and attack
Wounds and poison I'll take running
Until the pain leaves
And I will care even less
For I will live a thousand more years------------